Though I have many friends and I have some family I talk to now and then, I feel so alone at times. My hubby is great, but my self esteem is a little down. I don't always feel up to being intimate. Yes.. this is what I said. I have gained another me in weight from what I once was. I have tried just about everything to loose weight and I just can't seem to keep it off. I loose I gain. I have now consulted my physician to hopefully get a hold of this. I don't feel like I am giving him what he needs so he I don't feel like he is really happy. He says he is but at times I look at him and he looks mad or unhappy. Maybe I am over reacting. I wish that I just really knew. He says things to satisfy me. Why men do that to women I will never know. I would rather know how you really feel and know the truth than a sugar coated lie to say what I want to hear.
I wish I had my family and friends closer and now I am moving even farther away. I am excited to go to Alaska, but at the same time so sad to leave my family and friends even father than what I am now. Sometimes when I feel down, I wish I could go grab my BFF and her kids and go get ice cream. Or something. I would love to get out more often but it just seems like I can never do it when I want to. I think at times I still battling that depression demon. I have not been feeling down til this week. Is it because I am turning 41 today. Maybe it is. Mid-life crisis. Maybe so. Who knows. I just need strength to get through it and pray.
