bzzagent! Feebies!

I doing new campaigns on bzzagent! Try them out! I am doing the Free Friday downloads from Kroger. I get a free coupon every Friday from Kroger. I have gotten toothpaste, Hamburger Helper and Cheetos so far. I love this campaign. You should try it too.!!



<img src="https://img.bzzagent.com/image/freeFriday.jpg?Type=activity&Activity=6050162743&Campaign=1150311887&Uid=1424710&token=faab7412a9487a66f8e062981f66da7d" alt=""/>

Days Go By

As the days go here at Fort Stewart,  I keep myself busy. I have gotten involved with a non-profit organization program called Operation Cinderella. I am excited about being a part of it. I am also going to try to get back into FRG. I am still in school. I have been doing my couponing. I am also doing my freebies which include my bzzagent stuff and Freebieshark.com. So if you are reading this, check those two sites out. They always have free things. I love those two the most. Smiley360 also lets you try new things for free. Anyways, I am hoping to get some things going here pretty soon in the positive. I need to finish my disability stuff so it will get going. We really need the money to pay off the rest of our bills. So tired of BILLS.




Check out bzzagent...


<img src="https://img.bzzagent.com/image/freeFriday.jpg?Type=activity&Activity=6050162743&Campaign=1150311887&Uid=1424710&token=faab7412a9487a66f8e062981f66da7d" alt=""/>

Back at Fort Stewart

So I am now back at Fort Stewart. Quit blogging for a while. Did not have a reason I guess. But now I feel like I do. I have lost myself again. I went to Texas to find myself but I didn't. I expected things to be the same and they were not. My best friend there has two small kids and she has a new family now. It was hard for us to hang out like we used to and I am not mad at her for that. She seemed happy, but just tired. Me on the other hand, I am not happy. I don't know why. MY husband does everything for me. He provides me, he is a great husband. It is me. I have great friends that support me. I got really depressed while Travis was deployed and I really do not know why. I missed him yes. But I was staying with my friend that is like a sister to me. We had some minor issues. I had some sleeping problems and health problems. But nothing that we did not overcome. Things went wrong here and there but don't they always when our spouses deploy? Well my engine blew in the SUV..that topped the cake. And a few months before my husband was supposed to come back from Afghanistan. I was panicking. The repair guy said it would cost me $9000. Yeah talking about stressing out. So then my financial aid for school hit, we found a friend to do the engine for me. So I ordered an engine for $4000, and that soaked up my financial aid money and all the money we had saved up for moving. Yeah that wasn't good. So here I am in a bind. Robbing Peter to pay Paul. SO then I had to take from other sources to pay for other things. Yeah this was fun. In the mean time, I had been talking to a lady about a house off post so we could take all of our pets back with us. She tells me about a week before I leave that it may not be ready until the 15th of May. So fine. I will not be there til after because of my daughter's graduation. No big deal. SUV gets fixed, daughter graduates, get 25 miles from Fort Stewart and my SUV dies! Are you serious!! And it is 11PM! UGH! just my luck! I am so not into having good luck. Not to mention a few weeks prior to this, Christina had owed me some money, we went to a concert and I had the money in my purse, had left my purse in her truck, they would not let me take my camera into the concert, so she took my bag back to the truck, when we came out, everything was gone!! YES! My $2500 worth of camera and equipment and $3000 cash and my mother and grandmother's rings that are deceased that I will NEVER get back. So this is my life! BAD LUCK!! So I get towed into Fort Stewart. I have to pay cash. Then get reimbursed by my insurance company later. That pissed me off! Then ended up talking to a friend, getting a ride from them. And we ended up using their car for a few days and living with them for a month and a half because other house fell through and housing would not hurry and get us in a place. So finally got the SUV fixed but had to get an AER loan. But had to go through our trustee because YES we filed Chapter 13 due to bills left by our exes that we can never seem to get rid of. We are swimming in debt. Seems like nothing ever seems to go right but I refuse to give up. I have two beautiful kids that keep me going. My husband has two kids as well. Yes we keep them separate because my children do not care for him and apparently his no longer care for me. It has been a battle lately. His ex hates me and I am fine with that. But why did she turn her kids against me. I will never know that reason. I did nothing but love the kids as my own. But it is whatever. I can not make the kids care about me. They refuse to come here because of me. Anyways, This is my life in a nutshell. On the plus side, I started school for photography and I am excited about that. I am here at Fort Stewart and Travis is back home. I stay to myself. I was excited to see my friends, but one of my friends already left this place and one is leaving soon. So I just sit here and do my homework, clean and continue unpacking and going through stuff. A part of me wants to make friends and the other part wants to stay a hermit. We will see eventually. 

Lessons

Lessons in life and homework. I went to my best friends house for three weeks and it was not anything like I expected. She has two small kids now and things have changed. I did  not expect to go out and party, although I did expect to do more things with her family more so than her husbands family. I guess there was too much going on and I got sick when I was there and so did they. I also let my homework get behind because I could not concentrate because I was not used to the loud noises all day and into the late night. I know they are just kids, but I am used to kids being on somewhat of a schedule and going to bed at a decent hour like at the latest 8 for a 1 and 2 year old. I guess maybe that is just my opinion. But most parents I know put their little ones to bed by then at that age. Anyways, I just could not concentrate and I let my grades drop. My fault....period. No excuses.

I really want to go back and hang out with my best friend but I do not know how to approach her without hurting her feelings or her getting upset with me. I just want to tell her, your kids will be fine with other people if you want a babysitter and let's just go out and have a good time at the rodeo or whatever. It is okay. It does not make you a bad parent. Geez. Anyways, I feel bad for feeling the way I do, but it is how I feel. I just want my BEST FRIEND!!! I love her to death and I felt like I was seeing her fall into this trap of someone I don't know. She seems happy but still sad underneath it all. Hard to explain.

Missing

I find myself missing from my past, present and future. Yes this does not make sense to you, but to me it does. I miss a lot of my friends and how it was from my past, my family how it was before and the present now it not what I expect it to be and I sometimes want it to be like it was. I see in the future I will expect more and get less but that is okay. Changes will not always be what we expect and sometimes it is often better for us although we may not see the good of it at that time. God has a plan for each of us. And that plan for us will be followed to the good or bad. It is up to us to choose that path. I pray some days so selfishly not thinking what the real world needs. Shame on me for that. Other days I pray so hard for others that tears fall, and they never even know I prayed for them. I pray for people that despise me. My mom always told me to pray for your enemies because they need it most. I never knew I would come across anyone in this world that would despise me. I know a few and I really do not know a whole lot that I could have said or done to change things differently. We all say or do things we shouldn't and it is up to us to own up to it and I did. For them to do what they did well, I forgave them and I continue to pray. That is all I can do and hope one day that they can find peace in their heart to forgive me. That is all I can ask for.