Back at Fort Stewart

So I am now back at Fort Stewart. Quit blogging for a while. Did not have a reason I guess. But now I feel like I do. I have lost myself again. I went to Texas to find myself but I didn't. I expected things to be the same and they were not. My best friend there has two small kids and she has a new family now. It was hard for us to hang out like we used to and I am not mad at her for that. She seemed happy, but just tired. Me on the other hand, I am not happy. I don't know why. MY husband does everything for me. He provides me, he is a great husband. It is me. I have great friends that support me. I got really depressed while Travis was deployed and I really do not know why. I missed him yes. But I was staying with my friend that is like a sister to me. We had some minor issues. I had some sleeping problems and health problems. But nothing that we did not overcome. Things went wrong here and there but don't they always when our spouses deploy? Well my engine blew in the SUV..that topped the cake. And a few months before my husband was supposed to come back from Afghanistan. I was panicking. The repair guy said it would cost me $9000. Yeah talking about stressing out. So then my financial aid for school hit, we found a friend to do the engine for me. So I ordered an engine for $4000, and that soaked up my financial aid money and all the money we had saved up for moving. Yeah that wasn't good. So here I am in a bind. Robbing Peter to pay Paul. SO then I had to take from other sources to pay for other things. Yeah this was fun. In the mean time, I had been talking to a lady about a house off post so we could take all of our pets back with us. She tells me about a week before I leave that it may not be ready until the 15th of May. So fine. I will not be there til after because of my daughter's graduation. No big deal. SUV gets fixed, daughter graduates, get 25 miles from Fort Stewart and my SUV dies! Are you serious!! And it is 11PM! UGH! just my luck! I am so not into having good luck. Not to mention a few weeks prior to this, Christina had owed me some money, we went to a concert and I had the money in my purse, had left my purse in her truck, they would not let me take my camera into the concert, so she took my bag back to the truck, when we came out, everything was gone!! YES! My $2500 worth of camera and equipment and $3000 cash and my mother and grandmother's rings that are deceased that I will NEVER get back. So this is my life! BAD LUCK!! So I get towed into Fort Stewart. I have to pay cash. Then get reimbursed by my insurance company later. That pissed me off! Then ended up talking to a friend, getting a ride from them. And we ended up using their car for a few days and living with them for a month and a half because other house fell through and housing would not hurry and get us in a place. So finally got the SUV fixed but had to get an AER loan. But had to go through our trustee because YES we filed Chapter 13 due to bills left by our exes that we can never seem to get rid of. We are swimming in debt. Seems like nothing ever seems to go right but I refuse to give up. I have two beautiful kids that keep me going. My husband has two kids as well. Yes we keep them separate because my children do not care for him and apparently his no longer care for me. It has been a battle lately. His ex hates me and I am fine with that. But why did she turn her kids against me. I will never know that reason. I did nothing but love the kids as my own. But it is whatever. I can not make the kids care about me. They refuse to come here because of me. Anyways, This is my life in a nutshell. On the plus side, I started school for photography and I am excited about that. I am here at Fort Stewart and Travis is back home. I stay to myself. I was excited to see my friends, but one of my friends already left this place and one is leaving soon. So I just sit here and do my homework, clean and continue unpacking and going through stuff. A part of me wants to make friends and the other part wants to stay a hermit. We will see eventually.